Eight months ago, I wrote this post about my decision to leave my first post-grad job, and the words of wisdom shared by the man I was training to replace me. “You have to focus on where your heart is and where your passion lies,” he said.
At the time, hearing those words felt like being given permission to pursue something deeper and more suited to who I am. I felt so grateful to him for saying that, and I really, really needed to hear it then.
And recently, I told him how grateful I was for everything he said in our brief time working together. We just reconnected (thanks, internet!) and caught one another up on what we are doing for work, school, and so on. And as we talked, he dropped even more wisdom.
I am sharing this because I think it applies to so many people. This is not something we hear often enough (if ever). How often are we reminded that there is more to us than our resumes and credentials and “relevant experiences”–and that seeking something more is not selfish, but necessary?
Here’s what he said:
“People will see your skills and offer you opportunities based on what they see. But they won’t see your heart as easily as they see your gifts.“
Woah. Reading that, I felt like he was naming something I have never named. I expect people to see, understand, and speak to my heart. That is, of course, not something many employers do. But that certainly speaks to the challenges I have faced in the world of work, as a result of both unrealistic expectations as well as ignoring those intuitive nudges from within. Don’t we all want to be understood, and do something that is not just a good fit for our skill set, but for our true selves?
“Sometimes, people just go where their gifts take them and end up in a place that is soul-crushing for them, even though the specifics of their situation look very good from the outside. So you don’t have to take every opportunity; If your heart isn’t in it, it will be hard to sustain the effort that you have to put into a career.”
Yes. Even a situation that is very good–and the situations I have been in were and are, objectively, very good–will not necessarily be right. Not everything that is practical or lucrative or a good match for one’s particular talents will be right. Personally, I feel I am on a journey of finding things that are more and more “right.” Baby steps.
“[S]ometimes the exploration process will lead you to develop specific skills that you will need to do something in the future. The skills might be obvious ones now or might be latent ones that will surprise you. Also, who you are as a person (and your desires and values) will change somewhat as you as you age and go through different seasons in your life. If you continue to grow as a person, you may find yourself doing something you never expected and enjoying it.”
I absolutely believe this. When I looked back on my experiences in my previous job I realized that, as short a time as it was in the grand scheme of my career, I learned so much. I’m sure that there are more lessons to come from the whole experience in the future.
For now, a simple and superficial example is that between the job and my academic experiences, I got very comfortable speaking in front of groups. I know how to engage people, make eye contact, slow my speech, and read the room. The job tested that ability, and now I know that I can do it–and that is the case with many experiences that don’t have many immediately obvious benefits.
Pretty neat to think that an acquaintance could offer such timely, powerful advice, huh?
Unpacking Happiness 